In one week you will be the champion.
You can taste it on the tip of your tongue. Greatness is within reach. Your place in the sacred annals of history is waiting.
You are a master drafter, purveyor of late-round steals. You made the call on the Jalen Hurts, the Rhamondre Stevensons, the Tony Pollards. Waiver wire pickups fueled your tear. Start/sit decisions were executed with precision. League mates moaned, nay cried, when they saw they had to play you. One can picture their tears now, their faces wet with terror. By October whispers abounded about your formidable team. In November it was full-fledged fear.
There was no chance to defeat your squad. No one and nothing could or can stop it. It is a steamroller. A freight train with just a top gear and no brakes. You watch as you obliterate team after team, their Sundays a smoldering fire of tilted decisions and poor performances that ultimately end in an embarrassing loss.
You feel sorry for no one.
Now you take a moment to reflect: with a win this week you take your rightful place on top of the league. The champion. To be remembered forever.
So slip on that smoking jacket and cut the cap to a nice Cuban. Enjoy it paired with a scotch whisky. Perhaps you’re an enthusiast of Laphroaig, whose casks allow a vibrant tawny color. They make a killer 25-year-old single malt. Help yourself to a nice fire in the background and take a rest in your lounge chair to watch the minutes tick down on championship week, each play bringing you closer to supreme glory.
Just be sure to hit record on your phone to let those in your wake know your thoughts.
They need to hear from their champion.
Fantasy football Week 17 start ’em
Quarterbacks to start in Week 17
Jared Goff (DET) vs Chicago Bears
Even though the Lions lost last week, they are still in the playoff hunt in the NFC. This game means something to them. It’s a must-win to grab one of the final wild card spots. This is a good spot for them. They’re a much better team at home, and Jared Goff performs much better in Detroit than on the road. The Bears are a soft defense, remember that they traded their top two defensive players, so the potential for a multiple-touchdown game for Goff is there.
Brock Purdy (SF) vs Las Vegas Raiders
You may ask what do the 49ers have to play for? They already have the NFC West locked up, and the thinking may be to rest their key players for a run in the playoffs. What’s lurking though is the no.2 spot, and if they win against the Raiders and the Vikings lose then they win the tiebreaker. Even the no.1 seed is up for grabs in the NFC.
The Niners may rest some players in week 18, but I expect them to keep the pedal on the ground against the Raiders. Purdy is not putting up spectacular numbers, but it is solid. If you need 15-20 points from your QB position, look no further.
Running backs to start in Week 17
Cam Akers (LAR) vs Los Angeles Chargers
It’s amazing how much Cam Akers has improved in the second half of the season. He was on waiver wires midseason, and the Rams didn’t even know if he was going to return. He put up 100+ yards and 3 touchdowns against a broken Broncos team that has actually been pretty good against the run. They held Derrick Henry in check but had no answers for Akers.
Now he’s playing against one of the worst rushing defenses in the Chargers. Never thought I’d say this, but Akers is a solid play this week.
Travis Etienne (JAC) vs Houston Texans
Another solid play against a rush defense with many holes. For the past few years, it’s well-known knowledge that the Texans are a sieve on the ground. So much that teams don’t bother to throw the ball on them. They’re just so effective on the ground. Start Travis Etienne with confidence in your championship.
Wide receivers and tight ends to start in Week 17
Allen Lazard (GB) vs Minnesota Vikings
Dare we say that the Packers are now in playoff contention? They’ve strung together some victories, and if they’re going to keep up with Minnesota they’re going to need to throw the ball.
Christian Watson may be out this game, but even if he plays I still like Allen Lazard. They’re going to need him to generate yards and points in a must-win game for Green Bay.
Gabe Davis (BUF) vs Cincinnati Bengals
Is this the 100+ yards, multiple-touchdown game we need from Gabriel Davis? If any week, this seems to be one they’ll need him for a couple of deep bombs.
The Bengals hold running backs in check (more on this later) and teams are figuring out ways to take Stephon Diggs out of the game. If they’re going to break through, they’ll need to open up the field with some deep shots to Davis.
George Kittle (SF) vs Las Vegas Raiders
You’re playing him. He is a man on fire right now with Deebo out. Don’t second guess this one.
Fantasy football Week 17 sit ’em
Quarterbacks to sit in Week 17
Daniel Jones (NYG) vs Indianapolis Colts
Jones will play to the level of competition on the other side of the field. The Vikings and the Lions? Great, he will generate fantasy points. Washington and Dallas—two tougher defenses—not so much. Sure, Indy got ripped to shreds in the second half of that Vikings game, and they may be broken and ready for the season to end, but they’re still difficult match-ups for quarterbacks.
The reasonable idea would be to sit Jones on this one and look to pick up another steamer on the wire.
Deshaun Watson (CLE) vs Washington Commanders
He’s been bad. Which is good. I know Browns fans want him to be good, and we ALL feel sorry for Browns fans, but when you make a deal with the devil it never works out. Continue to suck, Deshaun.
Running backs to sit in Week 17
Devin Singletary (BUF) vs Cincinnati Bengals
This piggybacks on what I mentioned about Gabe Davis. The way to beat the Bengals is through the air. The Bills have a split backfield between Singletary, James Cook, and the looming running threat of Josh Allen. There’s just too little work against a formidable front.
Raheem Mostert (MIA) vs New England
The Patriots have been great against the run this year, and I expect this to continue against the Dolphins. The one thing going in Miami’s favor is that they seem to have New England’s number the past couple of years, but they’ve mostly been close/ugly games. I don’t see too many points scored in this one—the Patriots cannot afford to have to put up 20+ points—and so we should lower expectations for the Miami backfield.
Wide receivers to sit in Week 17
Zay Jones (JAC) vs Houston Texans
Yes, he has been a man on fire. Just when it comes to the second and third options on an offense you are too playing with fire. So many times that streakiness does not continue, and you’re left with Zay Jones’s basement, which is two points.
Marquez Valdes-Scantling (KC) vs Denver Broncos
I just don’t see the Chiefs needing to air it out against the Broncos. Do you? They look like a broken team after the Christmas matchup against the Rams, and this may be a Kelce game all the way. The Chiefs will do what’s needed for the W and move on to the next week.